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The Real Fonzie​.​.​.

by Beast in Heat

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1.
You're physically and emotionally fucked You're totally fucked and that's your luck You've got a head that is a disgrace And nobody's gonna sit on your face So, what are you gonna do? 'Cos nobody likes fuckin' you Seen prettier sights in the zoo And that's the only place there's food for you So what are you gonna do about it? Nothin' You'll do nothin' What are you gonna say about it? Nothin' You'll say nothin' Because you're nothin' Just another junkie dog Another slimy big-nosed hog You're just a lowlife fuckin' disgrace Where do you get the hide to show your face? So walk away real fuckin' fast Because we'll kick your slimy arse You're sick, you're sly and you always cry Why don't you just walk away and die? So what are you gonna do about it? Nothin' You'll do nothin' What are you gonna say about it? Nothin' You'll say nothin' Because you're nothin' She used to be my favorite girl I took her 'round the fuckin' world But now she's just another ho And all that I can say is, go Now what the fuck are you gonna do? 'Cos I don't even fucken like you I don't like what you've become Just another female cheap ass scum So what are you gonna do about it? Nothin' You'll do nothin' What are you gonna say about it? Nothin' You'll say nothin' Because you're nothin'
2.
Speed Palace 01:16
Crazy minds, crazy times Amphetamines, speeding minds Lowlife scum, loser dogs I stayed above, at all costs Speed palace, some palace More malice Speed times, fucked minds Dumb crimes Never ever letting go And always having more fuckin' go Living in a fuckin' maze What a way to spend the days Speed palace, some palace More malice Speed times, fucked minds Dumb crimes Who is it now? What was it now? Who are the scum? Where was the fun? Speed palace, some palace More malice Speed times, fucked minds Dumb crimes
3.
Jethro is a hunchback, we all know that to be a fact But we also know that Jethro is a rather large spack Jethro is a hunchback And that's a fact Jethro is a hunchback And that is that Roaming around Highgate with a speargun Leader of the dogs, hunchback number one His eyes are open really wide But it's that fucken hunchback that he can't hide Jethro is a hunchback And that's a fact Jethro is a hunchback And that is that About the rest of the junkie dog brigade Well what the fuck can we say? About One-Legged Jerry and Tim and Gaye What the fuck now can we say? I can't believe I lived near these Another fucked up case, another fuckin' "mate" Jethro is a hunchback And that's a fact Jethro is a hunchback And that is that
4.
Mind of Shit 01:03
Mind of shit Mind of hate Mind of thought Hey hey hey Whaaaat! It's a mind of shit That I had today (x2) So what can I say? A mind of thought A mind of nothin' Hey hey hey hey Hey hey hey It's a mind of shit That I had today (x2) So what can I say?
5.
Desperado 01:09
26 and still a virgin His only hope was to become a gynecologist a fuckin' pussy surgeon Desperado Desperado But brother made him happy Brother made him gay In the bathtub with rubber ducky they fuckin' play Desperado Desperado They rubber ducky dung brothers - shit to go Which one's the man, which brother's the ho? Desperado Desperado But who ordered the sunnyside eggs? Who ordered the broken yolk? Which one's the woman, which one's the bloke? Desperado Desperado (...etc etc) EL DESPERADO!
6.
There was Fonzie, Lavern and Richie Sitting on the floor of the Venn Street Kitchen Fonzie's always looking for something to keep him going He doesn't really care, he just wants something to put in his arm I don't know what I'm doing here I don't wanna live in a place like this I don't know why I'm living here This is some place that I'm not gonna miss And why is Fonzie always fuckin' crying? And why is Brad walking around with a fuckin' skirt on? What am I doing in this madhouse? All I wanna do now is get the fuck out There's Lavern, is it suicide again? That girl's really fucked in the brain She wants to die of a heroin overdose Why anybody would, nobody knows Richie's always walking around with his red socks on Went to San Francisco and came back with a hard-on Now we call him Albert, now he has permed hair All he ever talks about is the homo fear Drug dealer man with the Ecstasy All they were, were tabs of Vitamin C Fonzie's right hand man, driver of the car When the Fonz was the scene, Rich would never be far FONZIE, LAVERN & RICHIE - YEAH!
7.
The $5 Slut 01:33
Lucky dip five dollars Suction grip five dollars Yuppie bitch standing out on the street She's waiting for her lucky treat She dresses like a yuppie She acts like a mutt She's the cheap ass whore She's the $5 slut Headjob mutt 5 dollars She gets heaps of offers, she's the cheap ass whore You only need five to score She dresses like a yuppie She acts like a mutt She's the cheap ass whore She's the $5 slut She's the five dollar slut (x4)
8.
Bastard and the Mountain Man forever Forever holding hands (x2) Bastard and the Mountain Man They are from the New Zealand clan The sheep mountin' man Mountain oysters anywhere he can Tassie jacket, cowboy hat and Ray Bans He's the sheep mountin' man Thinks he's got heaps of fans But they're all at the bottom of his hands Bastard Bon Jovi - teased hair, dumb stare Wherever he is, the Mountin Man will always be there A homosexual bondage is what they share Always sitting together in their favorite chair (x2) Bastard and the Mountain Man forever Forever holding hands (x2)
9.
Nurses 01:20
The best thing about getting really sick You get the nurses to clean your dick Cleaning with their hands, their mouths and tongue Me and the nurses having endless fun Nurses, nurses, we salute you (x 4) And why do nurses wear white dresses? To hide the stains of semen messes Nurses one and all, I'll salute you For Your cause, and the right to root you Nurses, nurses, we salute you (x 4)
10.
Why 01:16
I only came here to drink beer Score some chicks, some fun for my dick But there's some dickheads all around And they're playing fucked sounds Won't someone turn that fucked music down? Why? Why not? Why? Why not? And why do we come to these fucked up clubs? To score some fuckin' stupid sluts (x4) Why? Why not? Why? Why not?
11.
Jimmy White 02:08
It happened there just overnight Richie has become Jimmy White With his head chasing the clouds The speed king (?) reaches for his crown No longer driver of the car No longer searching for his art From pure European stock, what can we say? Jimmy White is very strange No longer the driver of the car - Jimmy White Seems to think he'll go really far - Jimmy White Thinks he's some sort of star - Jimmy White The ice man jimmy seller - Jimmy White Some say he's the ghost of Bunji Park Others say he glows in the dark They say you'd never find him in a snowfield He wouldn't survive, he lacks the will But set in his filmstar ways He finds his habits hard to change So if you're looking for the go tonight The White Rhino Jimmy'll set you right No longer the driver of the car - Jimmy White Seems to think he'll go really far - Jimmy White Thinks he's some sort of star - Jimmy White The ice man jimmy seller - Jimmy White The White Rhino!
12.
Eager Beaver 01:25
13.
14.
You look real dumb, that you do son And maybe you're only playing a game, having fun Spiky hair, silly stare, jeans with holes showing your underwear And anarchy symbols fuckin' everywhere Sid Ridiculous, You're a mess Just go home, son, don't be a pest Is this how low things have sunk? That Sid Ridiculous calls himself a punk? A rich yuppie kid without a clue And the new "fashion craze" that he's going through Sid Ridiculous, You're a mess Just go home, son, don't be a pest
15.
We Want Beer 01:04
We want more beer, can't you see? We've all got to get our feed We want more beer, right away We want more beer, everyday Whoa whoa - We want beer Whoa whoa - More beer Whoa whoa - We want beer Whoa whoa - More beer Drinking beer and screwing chicks People ask us what's our trick We know what they all want to hear Sitting back and drinking beer Whoa whoa - We want beer Whoa whoa - More beer Whoa whoa - We want beer Whoa whoa - More beer Life's so easy, can't you see? Living in the lucky country We won't ever have no fear We just keep on drinking beer Whoa whoa - We want beer Whoa whoa - More beer Whoa whoa - We want beer Whoa whoa - More beer We want beer (x4)
16.
Got a little story we wanna get to you About some people we know and the things they do King Willie and Uncle Robbie, they'll party to the end King Willie and Uncle Robbie, they're legendary men King Willie - he's on the Right Side King Willie - he's on our side and he's alright Uncle Robbie, he's a big bad man Fuck with him, and you take your life in your hands He's pretty happy when he's on the beer And his enemies do always fear King Willie - he's on the Right Side King Willie - he's on our side and he's alright They've seen a lot of crime pays Seen blood flow, smashed heads and done time From a life of poverty, they have come But they've found better times, and they're having fun King Willie - he's on the Right Side King Willie - he's on our side and he's alright They spin a good yarn and make us all laugh About sex and drugs and stories from the past They've partied north, south east and west And we've learnt a thing or two from two of the best King Willie - he's on the Right Side King Willie - he's on our side and he's alright Willie & Robbie - they're on the Right Side (x4)
17.
Fuck You 01:11
There's another damn moralist Telling us what to do They know just what's right For me and for you Hey preacher - Hey preacher Hey preacher - Hey preacher Fuck You! There's another stupid teacher Talking about things he don't know Trying to brainwash the minds Trying to keep people slow Hey teacher (... etc) Fuck you! Cuntface cuntface cuntface Cuntface cuntface Fuck you! Another dumb media ploy Using brainwash control To keep the people human (?) To keep them in a mould Hey media (... etc) Fuck You! There's another stupid loser With nothing at all to say Another stupid loser Hey loser, walk away Hey loser (...etc) Fuck you!
18.
It's been another long hard day Been smoking buds all fuckin' day Just started on a carton of beer There will never be no fear 'Cos when the beer's all drunk away Then it's bourbon's time to play We know what we like to hear Bring us more bourbon, buds and beers Bourbon, buds, beer - Beer, buds, bourbon (x2) We get real drunk it's bourbon time Bourbon time brings on pussy time So downtown to pussy town Where all the big-lipped sluts can be found We go smoke some weed with the girls We take them all around the fuckin' world 'Cos we know what these sluts like to hear Beast in Heat are here with bourbon, buds and beer Bourbon, buds, beer - Beer, buds, bourbon (x2)
19.
Glam Stars 01:13
We all know how they get fed They give head, to get ahead Glam stars are everywhere And they really don't care You're a star Glam star Another star Glam star They think they are so cool Glam stars never break the rules Always wanted to be a star Always wanted a cool sports car You're a star Glam star Another star Glam star Society's raised on this shit Become a star through sucking dick Glam stars all want more money So they take it in their bummy You're a star Glam star Another star Glam star
20.
Hearing yarns from fried minds Same story, time after time Lost in a pointless view The negative vibes keep showing through Someone's shining a knife for me There's no one you can trust in the city Hearing more strange stories There's no one you can trust in the city How can we ever exist With only one negative? But that's all I hear time after time It really pisses with my mind Someone's shining a knife for me There's no one you can trust in the city Hearing more strange stories There's no one you can trust in the city
21.
22.
The real Fonzie wasn't cool He was always destined for a fail The real Fonzie wasn't cool The real Fonzie broke the rules Running through the late night streets Chasing that girl, hand upon meat The real Fonzie and Lavern Destined for the bad turn They were destined to root And they were destined to lose Fonzie had an addiction, you see His pink jacket was all that kept him happy The real Fonzie dressed in pink He never had many chicks He was pushed to the rear Lived his life in fear He thought he was really groovy Film star of a fuckin' movie Fonzie - bad luck Fonzie - you fuck
23.
We don't really care what you say or think No yin in our yang We don't really give a shit No yin in our yang Our songs are crude, we're buzzed out dudes No yin in our yang And if you don't like it, well, fuck you! No yin in our yang We don't care what you say We know we're right anyway We don't care what you do We'll just say Fuck You Beast in Heat, we're here to stay No yin in our yang (x2) Beast in Heat, we'll always say No yin in our yang (x2) No way Beast in Heat, we're here to say No yin in our yang We'll say it every single day No yin in our yang We'll say it any time we like No yin in our yang We'll say it 'cos we know we're right No yin in our yang We don't care what you say We know we're right anyway We don't care what you do We'll just say Fuck You Beast in Heat, we're here to stay No yin in our yang (x2) Beast in Heat, we'll always say No yin in our yang (x2) No way There's no yin, no yin in our yang (...etc)

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MORT:012

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released March 12, 2001

Recorded at SSL Studio in Bayswater, Western Australia on 8 tracks of glorious Betacord. (Thanks for the glitch, Tony!) The real Fonz was a fucken poof.

Duey - Vocals
Zombo - Bass
Sharon - Drums
Stumblefuck - Guitar

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