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What Becomes of the Barrel​-​Chested?

from The End of Ethnology by Wadge

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lyrics

Holier than thou kids on a trampoline
High fiving each other in their positive scene
Make a change by screwing other bands
Who didn’t wear bandanas or have X’s on their hands
They actually did push-ups before the show
Had to be sure the guns looked pumped
Room of chugga chugga chumps
Preachy squirts with nothing to prove
Well looky here, reunion shows
And not surprisingly it still blows
The past was a joke and even more so now
Look at you drink, barbecue half a cow
Edge was so narrow almost everyone fell off
Tell your kid you used to be in a band
“Don’t get upset, Pop, but why was it so bland?”
“Were you really a vegan, Dad?”
“That was just a phase, son. No more questions, lad.”
“Now get the old man a beer and leave me alone”
“I’m bidding on a rare JUDGE test pressing I must own”
“Didn’t your mother say to mow the lawn?”
“Gonna count to three and you’d better be gone”
“Now!”

credits

from The End of Ethnology, released November 11, 2016

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