Barf On A Globe: 7" Vinyl Collection 1989​-​1998

by Sockeye

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1.
01:52
2.
3.
01:26
4.
5.
6.
00:37
7.
8.
9.
01:07
10.
01:11
11.
12.
13.
14.
01:42
15.
02:08
16.
00:43
17.
18.
19.
20.
02:11
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
31.
00:45
32.
33.
34.
35.
36.
37.
01:28
38.
39.
40.
00:15
41.

about

MORT:003 / Happy Puppy #2

credits

released December 12, 1999

Co-released with Happy Puppy Records on CD in 1999 in a one time edition of 525 copies. "Barf On A Globe" collects all of Sockeye's 7" vinyl output from 1989 to 1998.

Tracks 1-4 = split 7" w/ That Cheezy Sensation (1989 / Wheelchair Full Of Old Men, 1000 pressed)
Tracks 5-12 = "Coprophagia" 7" (1990 / Wheelchair Full Of Old Men, 700 pressed)
Track 13 = "Mouthful Of Monkey Bile" 7" comp. (1991 / Flush Productions, 1000 pressed)
14 = "Kung Fu Daniel" 7" comp. (1991 / Birth Fanzine, 500 pressed)
15-18 = split 7" w/ Eeyone Prayer Tool (1991 / Wheelchair + Eerie Materials)
19-22 = "Grand Wizards of Your Parents' Sex Lives" 7" (1992 / Scat Records, 500 pressed)
23-26 = split 7" w/ Sheep Squeeze (1992 / Wheelchair, 500 pressed)
27 = "Son Of Bllleeeeaarrrrggghhh" 7" comp. (1993 / Slap A Ham)
28-29 = "Four Bands That Had Too Much Metamucil" 7" comp. (1993 / Cactus Prick)
30 = "Fuck Rush Limbaugh" 7" comp. (1993 / Chicken Pharmaceuticals)
31 = "Court Metrage" 7" comp. (1994 / Panx Records)
32-36 = split 7" w/ Ross Daily (1995 / Wheelchair + A.R.S., 800 pressed)
37-40 = split 7" w/ Bunny Brains (1995 / Nose Hair)
41 = "This Was A Stupid Idea" 7" comp. (1998 / A.R.S., 325 pressed)

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Sockeye was:
Food Fortunata - Vocals and some other instruments
Yum Yums - Drums and vocals
Kicky Game - Guitar and vocals
Poopy - Bass and vocals on tracks #5, 14 and 17-41
Czuk - Bass on track #13
Puzzleteeth - Bass on tracks #1-4
Copie - Bass and vocals on tracks #1-4 and 16

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Artwork by Mike Schafer and Brian Edwards.

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Track Name: Fuckin' Shit
I'm told to waste my life working on the job
But it's my boss' life and money I am going to rob
I don't need to be told by a corpse like you
All the things in life that I should fucking do

It's all just fuckin' fuckin' fuckin' fuckin' shit (x2)

Try to keep me complacent by compounding your lies
But I'll be the one who's laughing when it's you who dies
Someday I'll see you bankrupt and bleeding out the rear
When your kingdom's shattered and you've been fistfucked by a queer

It's all just fuckin' fuckin' fuckin' fuckin' shit (x2)

I won't work for you, take your job and jam it up your butt
I wont live my life out serving as your private slut
But don't put me down and don't call me names
Because as we speak, your restaurant's gone up in flames

It's all just fuckin' fuckin' fuckin' fuckin' shit (x2)
Track Name: Straightedge Fag
You say that you choose not to smoke
Well, that just makes you a fucking joke
Then you say we shouldn't drink
Shows what you know, you goddamn dink

You're a straightedge fag
You're a stupid gay
You're a straightedge fag
You love Youth Of Today

"Take care of your mind and don't abuse it"
Problem is, you don't even use it
Sex is abuse, or so you say
That's because you're fucking gay

You're a straightedge fag
You're a stupid gay
You're a straightedge fag
You love Youth Of Today

You're gonna bash those who don't agree?
Sockeye's got it's own bashing spree
We'll clean the town of straightedge thugs
And make the streets safe for all those drugs
Track Name: 20000 Lawns
A retarded fellow lives down the block
For 25 bucks, he'll suck on your cock
He's overworked and underpaid
20000 more lawns to mow before he gets laid

He eats free pizza at awards ceremonies
Honorary member of three fraternities
He's overpraised
His eyes are stupid and glazed
But... 20000 more lawns to mow before he gets laid
Before he gets laid, before he has sex

Special Olympics, he waits all year
But not half as much as his mother's pap smear
Fucking fat pervert, watches his sister undress
Looks at his hands, oh my god, there's a mess
He's dressed in red leather
Pages just glued together
But... 20000 more lawns to mow before he gets laid
Track Name: Your City Sucks
You're from (various cities)
(that particular city) sucks
Plus some other garbage like "I hate Mormons from New Orleans on lazy Crisco mornin's"
Track Name: Chant
Funeral's over! Let's eat!
Track Name: Pave The Earth
You say conservation's important, I say it's not
Make the Earth one big parking lot
Burn the grass and cut the trees
Bring Earth First to its fucking knees

Give a hoot, let's pollute from our day of birth
Use it up, throw it out
Come on, let's pave the Earth

Let's fill the Grand Canyon up to the top
With toxic waste, refuse and slop
When it's full, let the concrete fall
Over the canyon, a shopping mall

Give a hoot, let's pollute from our day of birth
Use it up, throw it out
Come on, let's pave the Earth

When we chop down the very last tree
We'll have pavement from sea to shining sea
Next, the ocean will be our dumping ground
Fill it up with trash, pound by pound
Track Name: Fuck You, Dude
Something stolen from Shakespeare, I think
Track Name: Maureen
Maureen died in a Cincinnati McDonald's
With Stinker Woo and Anthony the Honadles
She had a sporty windbreaker and babysitter tits
And she lay on spilled Grape Nuts and those oven mitts

A young boy made love to a cigarette machine
A preacher read a passage from Job
Maureen writhed in agony
And in the confusion, I barfed on a globe

Above the golden arches
The sky, it did turn black
God saw fit to give us some roadkill
So we all had a snack
Track Name: Cervix Blues
Check out that cervix, it's not very well
Check out that cervix, it will end up in hell
I trashed it with my big fat cock
Then I stuffed in in a sock

There's a tennis racket under my bed
A monument to girls who give head
Eight or nine cervixes stuck in it's strings
Imagine the kind of luck a thing like that brings

Roll it around with your finger
Squish it up with your thumbs
Take it out to Disneyland
Wrap it up in bubblegum

There's a tennis racket under my bed
A monument to girls who give head
Eight or nine cervixes stuck in it's strings
Imagine the kind of luck a thing like that brings

Hanging from the thinnest thread
Look at that cervix, it's almost dead
Chowing down on a Christmas tree
Broke a cervix tonight, maybe three
Track Name: Tittyfuck A Coalminer
You got big jugs from working with the Earth
She's been getting laid since her day of birth
She'll cook you up a cheeseburger sure as shit
Then you'll stick your dick between her tits

Tittyfuck a coalminer (x3)
Do it now!

Put the pedal to the metal and head way down south
Soon you'll find your wiener striding towards her mouth
Black lung gave her a gorgeous cunt
And she gave birth to a boy who was a runt

Tittyfuck a coalminer (x3)
Do it now!
Track Name: Introducing...
Hi, my name is Greg and I'm an alcoholic
I play guitar in Sockeye and I just stole a gun
Things are going to be really different from now on

My name is Darrell M. and I'm a Pisces
I play the drums
I like to draw pictures of people blowing their limbs off with fireworks and then masturbate to said pictures
This is excellent

My name is Dave and mostly I sing
I have a master's degree and that makes me better than you
Lock your children up at night because I don't have a curfew
Track Name: Messiah Sandwich
A buttfish came to me about two weeks ago
An armless garbageman by the name of Joe
An 80-year old woman with a vibrator
Rummaging in the refrigerator

In the nearly empty meat drawer
There was a messiah
I found Jesus and I ate him!

A permanent bubble is called a ball
I was stoned and that ain't all
Kyle and his bologna sandwich
Jesus ground up into a Manwich

In the nearly empty meat drawer
There was a messiah
I found Jesus and I ate him!

I heard a sound that wasn't there
All I could do was sit around and stare
A cockroach smoking a great big cigar
And I took out my dick and pissed on a star

In the nearly empty meat drawer
There was a messiah
I found Jesus and I ate him!
Track Name: Incest Rules
While your brother had an epileptic seizure
I sat back and watched at my leisure
Then your dad came into the room
And fucked him with the end of a broom
Sister has just turned 13
She is daddy's little queen

Incest rules, little Billy drools
Bruises are discovered at school
Your dog Sparky drowns in the pool
Incest rules, little Billy drools

She is naked and lying on her back
Soon she becomes your father's snack
Mother never does protest
Injecting heroin into her breast
Smokes a rock and beats you up
It's Christmastime, but don't expect any presents

Incest rules, little Billy drools
Bruises are discovered at school
Your dog Sparky drowns in the pool
Incest rules, little Billy drools
Track Name: Satan Medley
Satan rules the land, sea and sky
If you piss him off, he'll poke out your eye
He gets mad when you act good
So be real evil like you know you should

I sold my soul yesterdayer
For front row seats to go see Slayer

Whenever I hear a hot guitar lead
I have to plant the demon seed

(secret backwards satanic part)

At the show I pick up chicks
Just by chanting "six six six!"
I dwink lossa beer and moke lossa crack
So we can mount up our demonic attack
Track Name: Big Hat
That's a big hat
That's a big hat
That's a really big fuckin' hat
That's a big hat, big hat

That's a big guy
That's a really big fucking guy
That's a big guy
Big guy, big guy

That's a big coat
That's a really big fucking coat
That's a big coat
Big coat, big coat
Track Name: Kill Me/Fuck Me
Kill me
Fuck me
Run over me with your car
Track Name: Hold On Loosely
Loosely based on a .38 Special song
Track Name: Mushroom Gravy
Mushroom gravy ladled over the head of my dick

You say you like cheese sauce (or Velveeta or chili con carne)
Over the head of your dick?
That's just fine for you, but I like...
Track Name: Blind
Well, you might idolize Helen Keller
But I've got some fucking news for you, feller
You're fucking blind, that means you can't see
If I push you down, you wont know if it was him or if it was me

You're blind blind blind
No visual capabilities in your mind
Your blind blind blind
Your shoes sure are hard to find

Your world consists of nothing but black
And you couldn't fend off an unarmed attack
Christians say that it was due to sin
But I'm just gonna kick you in the fuckin' shin

You're blind blind blind
No visual capabilities in your mind
Your blind blind blind
Your shoes sure are hard to find

You're walking the streets with a red-tipped cane
I'm gonna move around your furniture and drive you insane
But, quick, grab a seat and another beer
Cuz, holy shit, baby, you can't hear!

You're blind blind blind
No visual capabilities in your mind
Your blind blind blind
Your shoes sure are hard to find
Track Name: The Boy With A Bruised Butt
A scrub brush is dirty and in the sink
Another boy's butt is on the blink
A mother is trying to clean his rump
Orson Welles looks on and in his throat there's a lump

The boy with a bruised butt
It's everybody's business

Uncleanly rectums need not go unnoticed Phil
When children need attention, please slip them a pill
Ten pounds of dead flies in the tube of his dick
This poor kiddie's curb job made Nate Lilly sick

The boy with a bruised butt
It's everybody's business

Your cloth-dick is becoming a drag
Now you've been fitted for an ostomy bag
Save a little bit of semen in a paper cup
Jim Henson's best known creation was the Mupp-ets

The boy with a bruised butt
It's everybody's business
The boy with ten naked penises within a ten foot radius of his freshly shaven booty
Track Name: Poop And George
Poop and George in a hot buttfucking session
Track Name: Buttfuck Your Own Face
Buttfuck your own face
Fuck your face in the ass

Your face has a nice pussy
Your face has a nice butt
Your face really knows how to party
Your face knows how to please a man

Buttfuck your own face
Fuck your face in the ass

Your face isn't very picky
Your face has really big titties
Your face is a sexy little dish
Your face is gonna be mine, all mine

Buttfuck your own face
Fuck your face in the ass

Your face is gonna lose it's load
Your face is drunk and slutty
Your face is takin' on all seven inches of your dick in it's ass
Track Name: Wheelchair Full Of Old Men
Got no feeling in your toes
Can't move your arm to itch your nose
Undergarments by Depends
Are your only fucking friends

Stack them in one by one
Paralysis is lots of fun
Chant it now and again
Wheelchair full of old men

Old Sol Just pissed his pants
When in the nursing home, just by chance
He saw an old woman masturbating
He couldn't get a hard-on, so frustrating

Stack them in one by one
Paralysis is lots of fun
Chant it now and again
Wheelchair full of old men

Once you're at retirement age
That's when you'll be all the rage
Throw yourself up on the pile
That smells like rotting flesh and bile


Stack them in one by one
Paralysis is lots of fun
Chant it now and again
Wheelchair full of old men
Track Name: Silverware Sucks
We're all sitting at the dinner table
Your etiquette here must be unlike a stable
Your spoon and knife are at the side of your plate
Gee mom, this buttfag salad sure tastes great

I don't like knives or spoons
I think they make you look like a goon
Forks are cool, but they suck
Forks are cool, and yet they suck

Table manners are a fucking drag
if you care about them, you're a fag
Everyone eats, ever people who are pigs
Your dork left the table and munched on some figs

I don't like knives or spoons
I think they make you look like a goon
Forks are cool, but they suck
Forks are cool, and yet they suck

Everybody ate and chewed their bites
Don't tell me not to slouch, I know my rights
Everyone had to put on a show
Just because we're eating, that really blows

I don't like knives or spoons
I think they make you look like a goon
Forks are cool, but they suck
Forks are cool, and yet they suck
Track Name: Your Boob's Poop
A fuck a fuck a fuck a fuck a fuck a fuck a fuck a fuck a your boob's poop
Your boob's poop
Track Name: Don't Fear The Reaper
You know, the B.O.C. song?
Track Name: Two Babies Fucking
Went to the nursery and peered in the crib
Wiped off my ass on the little boy's bib
When I had gone in, I thought the kids would be tucked in
But what did I see?

Two babies fucking

St. Balltit is a friend of mine
He has a cord of infants under a tarp
I remember this one time he barfed on a man
And found a fetus making out with a carp

Two babies fucking

Little kids shouldn't make out like that
But once they begin, they can't stand pat
Why don't they make condom to fit infant dork?
Because, as we know, babies frequently pork
Track Name: Fight For Change
Fight for change, fight for change
I fight for change so damn hard
I seen a nickel on the side of the road
Change is what I need

I beat you up for it
I fight for change all the live long day
I saw that Jimmy Fund and I beat you up for it
But I threw out the dollar bills because all I wanted was change
Track Name: We Are Circumcised
We are so rock, and we are so cool
Long hair, short hair and tattoos, too
With all this coolness, it's hard to believe
That on our dicks, there are no sleeves

We are circumcised, yes that is right
No goofy foreskins to hamper the night

Our heads are unleashed even when we are soft
Though that is not often, because we constantly boff
The girls all dig us cuz we are so clean
The guys like to rub us with afrosheen

We are circumcised, yes that is right
No goofy foreskins to hamper the night

Since we have no foreskins, we are proud to say to thee
We can bathe less often and avoid the scabies
Track Name: Daddy's Dildo
Daddy's dildo, daddy's dildo
And weewah's pooping russ
Track Name: Two Homosexual Baby Dogs
Two homosexual baby dogs
Baby dogs
Track Name: Ode To An Autistic Child
Hey! Look at me!
Hey! Stop rocking back and forth!
Don't make me hit you again
Track Name: I Wanna Punch
I wanna punch
(plus a bunch of Dag Nasty lyrics)
Track Name: Little Dummy Cripple
Little dummy cripple kid with a smiling face
Gives hope and courage to the human race
Our hearts full of cheer as he triumphs once again
To take on this world, all he needs is a friend

It'll be so cute when I chop off his head
Little dummy cripple, you hot little tart
I'll knock out his walker and press his face in the snow
Little dummy cripple, you melt my heart

Sure, little buddy, I'll put a coin in your can
If I can help your cripple cause, it'll make me feel like a man
We'll go to the cripple fundraiser and have a good time
We wont go home until we hear the midnight chime

And then as we leave, we'll run over his legs
Not that he can use them, but look how he begs
He'll plead for more as I gaily kick his ass
Little dummy cripple and I will fish for some bass

I love my little dummy cripple, so why must I hurt him so?
Basically because people like that really blow
I hate people who can't walk or folks who are lame
Little dummy cripple, you're the one to blame
Track Name: Indieground
A uterus punched me and a clock bit my ball
Is it any wonder Umberto Eco is ten feet tall?
There's a snake int he woods which will scare you to death
He's 7000 feet long and he shoots crystal meth

Your ass had gangrene and your tits have lice
Piss on my buttcheeks and I'll treat you nice
I bought a ska album make by a Milkdud
He woke up at midnight and strangled your pud

You can't forgive the industrious bastard who stole your cherry
He spoke like Richard Nixon and he sure was a fairy
You wrestled some goon at the tri-county fair
And put honey dijon mustard into your hair

I'll tell you truly, your waistline is desirable
I've had some trouble with the law and now I'm unhirable
King Arthur's court
Track Name: Iron Maiden Tribute Album
I'm gonna shove this can of Campbell's Chunky Garden Vegetable up your ass
I'm going to pour a gallon of bleach in your peehole
And then I'll make you a man
Then I'll make you my wife
I'll slice a quarter inch from the tip of each finger and pour iodine in your eyes
I'll cut open your scrotum and put a colony of wasps in and sew it back up
You're gonna boil rice and cook my dinner because you're my man, bitch
I don't care about your sordid past
I only care that today you'll wear a thin French maid get-up and your foreskin just looks dreamy
Track Name: One Hundred Story Building Drowning In Cum
I've been waiting for a baby to kick me in the balls
As I sit here patiently and hope that Morely Safer calls
I want to watch TV even after I am dead
I need to stop the chatter now and make sure grandpa's fed

You're grinning like a weasel because you know you're fat
You developed a new drug to give throat cancer to your cat
You march up and down squirting milk out your ass
And now I'm gonna tease you because you buttfucked Mama Cass
Track Name: Space Food
Space food, space food
Aaaahhhhh!
Track Name: L. Moron Hubbard
Hello, how are you?
I'm fine today, thanks
What's wrong?
Ah, nothing suicide wouldn't fix

I've been a eunuch for lo these many years
In place of my testes is a six pack of beers
I've sprouted some breasts
And I must confess
To my special attraction to Herman Hesse

Sockeye is stupid and we deserve to die
We wrote a good song once, but naturally we didn't record it
Our tits are oblong sacks of chewed food