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Mortville Noise (MORT:097) / Personal Archives [PA//76]

credits

released May 18, 2015

Tracks 1-5 = Frank Goshit
Recorded 2014 / 2015.
_____________________________________________

Tracks 6-67 = Big Fist Johnny
Recorded September 14th at StereoTactic MPLS, mixed at Mortville Manor November 2nd, 2014.

Bill - Drums / Recording
Brian - Bass / Vocals
Andy - Guitar / Vocals / Mixing
Hagamoto - Guitar

BIGFISTJOHNNY.COM

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Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Inevitable Reformation
Every band that's ever existed will eventually reform
Even if all the members are dead
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Overstated Disinterest
Claiming not to care about the super bowl
Blow by blow explanation of why it sucks
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Loud Pipes Save Lives
Loud pipes save lives
Tell that to the people trying to sleep
Weaving in and out of traffic
I hope you get fucking flattened
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - In Praise of Gene
Earfuls of filth at an early age
Courtesy of a man named Mr. Truckstop
Nothing taboo or off limits
Here's to you, you were one of the greats
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Drastic Measures
Crushing my nuts to sound like King Diamond
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Guy Fawke-Off
Giving a face to the faceless
Smug and condescending
Anonymous, yet despicable
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Arrested Development
Grown men obsessed with Star Wars in 2013
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Fisting Tainted Women
Fisting tainted women for the win
Fuck the world
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Cock Chop
Two nails in a log, necks stretched tight
Axe swing delivering the fatal blow
Headless birds flailing around
Voiceless beaks scream for help
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Virtually Worthless
Deleting hours of music to make room for more
Worthless and disposable
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - April 15th Nervous Breakdown
Sweating with stress, preparation of taxes
Coming out even beats paying in
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Stretchin' Out
1-2-3-4 hoooooooooooooold
and we're done
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - M.I.A. Maiden
Borrowed cassettes from decades past
Mysteriously returned in mailbox today
Suspicion of theft finally confirmed
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Baby Grinders
Rocking out HARD to a Dr. Seuss CD at full volume
Singing along with all the best bits
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - The Underground Grammys
If there were an underground version of the Grammys, Charlie Infection would win the lifetime achievement award
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Clearance Rack Porno
Buying porn blindly from the budget section
70 year old white dude fucking a 300 pound black chick
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - 56 Grams Per Serving
Pummeling my pancreas with refined sugar
Type 2 beetus is unavoidable
Test strips courtesy of Liberty Mutual
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Weak Transmissions
That hard jerk first thing in the morning
Gets slightly less hard after warming up
Rubber softens and loosens up
Until finally there's no jerk at all
Only the jerk behind the wheel
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Drug Culture
Fuck it
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Cousins For Datin'
Tensions run high at the family reunion
Fabric strains against growing wood
Those cut-off shorts get shorter each year
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Ball-Dropper
Consistently unreliable, excuses pile high
Too stupid to be trusted
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Banana Man
Banana man makes his deliveries on Monday
Show up late and miss the banana boat
Free to the public, there for the taking
Trading fruit for discussions of Christ
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Universal Hatred of Lääz Rockit
If there's one thing we can all agree on
It's that Lääz Rockit fucking sucks
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - One Step Over the Line
Child-rape apologists
Offended by priest jokes
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Beard-Core
Your face looks like a snatch
A tight shot of your mouth looks like a scene
from a 70s porno
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Implied Bestiality
Cartoon dogs with human dates
Geico commercials with a pig and his girl
Outrage over one, but not the other
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Groundhog Day
Living a loop
Each day the same as the last
Track Name: It's Good to Have a Game Plan
It doesn't have to make sense
It doesn't have to synch up
We can play whatever we want
As long as we stop all at once
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Crowd Pleaser
Eco-friendly grindcore for the punk rock crowd
Noise made digestible by a lyrical shift
Musically mundane and bland
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Hep Cats
(instrumental)
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Referential
Writing a song about Anal Jackson writing a song about Charlie Infection's glasses
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Taking Your Lumps
One lump or two?
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Mountain Don't
Mountain Dew mainlined straight into the vein
Blood sugars sky rocket, waistline expands
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - The Upper-Hand
Fat, tiny Hitler
Shitting his sagging pants at work
Entire rolls of tissue forced down the stool
Resulting flood spreads down the hall
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Celebrating Shit
Celebrating shit
Making mountains out of molehills
Not everything is worth its weight in gold
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Dick Monk
Slamming a door into a cast iron dildo
Saving the walls from penetration
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Dr. Office
Hello, my name is Doctor Office
Welcome to my practice
Meet my nurse, Nurses Station
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Oh, the Irony
High school dropouts who fucking love science
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Tatt-ude
Dumb motherfucker storms through the door
Demanding a bar code tattooed on his neck
60 minutes later the deed is done
The UPC for Kraft Mac 'n' Cheese
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Multilingual Blowhard
Rosetta Stone expanding my brain
In 6 different languages I can talk out my ass
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Monkeys Mistaken for Dogs
Yelping of beasts indecipherable
Quickly closing in on the frightened
Wild dogs give way to monkeys
Oh look, how cute
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Breakthroughs in Mathematics
New kinds of mathematics
Achieved with the King Kong Calculator
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Coming of Age
1980s titty-flick supremacy
Hopeless nerds getting their first grope of flesh
Oingo Boingo and Devo providing the soundtrack
To an alcohol induced date rape
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Poor ol' Beau
Poor ol' Beau
He's the Ron McGovney of grindcore
Always the butt of jokes
And undeservedly so
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Woodworker
Wood worker working with wood
The mighty oak becomes curio cabinet
Basement filled with splinters and sawdust
Forests stripped down to the surface
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Sassy Pants
Sassy pants full of sassafras
Leaky leg with droopy ass
This song is fucking dumb
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Ambidextrous
Pulling it with the left hand
To give the right a break
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Minimal Sacrifice
Trading one dead animal for another during lent
That kind of sacrifice is to be commended
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Chocolate Diaper
Pushing as hard as possible
Soft serve like a motherfucker
Testing the limits of absorption
Chocolate diaper holocaust
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Covering Death
Drink from the goblet, the goblet of gore
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - The Sickness
Stuffed-Up Nose, Sore Throat and Yeast Infection
Was the sickest tour I've ever seen
Full Blown AIDS played the after party
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Boosted Deception
Flat-chested girls with push-up bras
The illusion of cleavage achieved through deception
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Self-Preservation
Rescuing your releases from cut-out bins
Passing them on to someone else
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - The Jar of Consequence
Skip out on your duties, or for any offense
Reach in and grab from the jar of consequence
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Donkey Basketball
Hooves clopping their way down the court
Stopping mid-court to empty their bladders
Middle aged men wrangle the beasts
While handling their balls and avoiding the turds
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Post-Production Miracles
Slap on enough reverb
And we'll have a best seller
Hollywood magic erasing mistakes
Everything's brutal in post-production
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Looks Are Important
Anal douching to minimize mess
Anal bleaching for aesthetic purposes
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - The Loveless Marraige
Shared experiences, mutual interests
Aging together with hidden resentment
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Animatronic Nightmares
Quick, jarring motions
Lifelike, but not quite
Creepy beyond belief
Animatronic nightmares
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Cookie-Cutter Politics
Repeated slogans, cookie cutter punks
Individuality expressed by all looking the same
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Good, But Not Too Good
Using print quality as a measuring stick for authenticity
Only photocopies are real
Dismissing releases if they look too good
Caring about stuff is totally false
Track Name: Big Fist Johnny - Involuntary Cannibalism
Involuntary cannibalism on the feed lots
This is our one political song