split C​-​14

by Captain Three Leg / Dysmorfic

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SDR 099


released January 10, 2017

Tracks 1-17 = Captain Three Leg

Music recorded with Reaper June 12th, 2016, vocals and mixing done December, 2016.

Andy - Guitar, Bass, Roland SH-101 + Vocals
Brian - Drums + Vocals

Cover by Paul Pfeiffer


Tracks 18-22 = Dysmorfic

Recorded with a Zoom H2n digital recorder November 24th, 2016.

Buccia - Drums
Tommy - Bass + Vocals
Dustin - Artwork

Thanks to Captain Three Leg, Mortville, Here and Now Recs and Scaglie Di Rumore. Cheers to friends and family, far and near.




Mortville Noise HQ Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Milking Sickness for Sympathy
home from work on the couch
stayed home sick, make it count
make them feel bad
get in their way
complain a lot
ruin their day
piss and moan, let them know
just how sick you really are
always in sight
you milk it dry
go to your fucking room
and keep your fucking germs to yourself
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - The God Nod
going for that God applause
soared to the top of your chosen field
given awards from your group of peers
you take the stage and open your gob
"Shout out to my main man, God."
thunderous rounds of applause break out
cast that net and bring back the easy cheer
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Pain Leads to Gains
building up your tolerance
to physical abuse
pain leads to gains
increase the level of suffering
until you die
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Specimen Processor
handling the fluids of another man
I know it's rough, but do the best that you can
run it to the lab to be checked for disease
but, don't tip the fucking cup, or you'll get piss on your sleeve
take this cup
fill it up
to the top
be sure to stop
you went too fucking far
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Teenage Rampage
I hate my dad
he makes me mad
he made me clean my fucking room
ticking time-bomb
filled with adolescent rage
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - 2400 Mol
You brought the world mincecore
back in 1985
you've put more fucking records out
than anyone else alive
a growing list of releases
that list is fucking insane
with numbers nearing a thousand
yet no one can say your name
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - For Your Viewing Pleasure
Black Market Fetus came down to record
I was in my mid-twenties, they were barely nineteen
loading out their van and setting up gear
hardcore porno on the TV screen
failing to find the humor, it's a decision I regret
awkward silence fills the air while switching off the set
the drive to 515 filled with jokes at my expense
the creepy older dude with no common sense
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Nothing for Something
you want to press a record
but haven't got the means
solicit money from your fans
who get nothing in exchange
too cheap to make your dreams come true
nobody owes you a fucking thing
kick that shit off of cyber space
if you're not paying, why should I?
pool your money together
sell some shit, or get a fucking job
fuck off
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - The Spectrum of Sin
not the most evil
you have to admit
in the spectrum of sin
this is low on the list
tapping into the occult is stupid as fuck
but you can buy those fucking things at Walmart
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Daryl's Boots
we went to Minneapolis in 1996
the four of us piled up in the car
to go and see Dropdead
from across the room
Daryl spots some spiky knee-high kicks
he convinced the dude to sell them
but they didn't even fit
Sell me your boots!
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Doomsday Predictions
you predicted the date of our demise
though you've done your worst
trying to speed it along
2000 long years of being wrong
there's no self-fulfilling prophecy
the alignment of planets
doesn't mean a fucking thing
you fucking prick
what makes you think you're right
when everyone else has been wrong?
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Kirked in the Teeth
standing on the center stage
overweight and overpaid
fan of yours jumps on the stage
bouncer takes him to the floor
kick his head and hurt him more
rough him up and make him sore
stop the show, begin to rant
try to play it cool, but can't
wipe the poop out of your pants
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Demotivational
someone out there is depending on you
but live your life for you and not for anyone else
you're gonna fuck up on the way to the end
so forget about the others and be true to yourself
it's okay to be wrong
you don't have to be right
if you never try, you'll never have to put up a fight
expectations are lowered
soon they'll leave you alone
then you'll never have to leave the comforts of your home
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Intergalactic Booty Call
little green men travel space and time
to insert metal objects in your behind
tremendous resources wasted
just to fuck you in the ass
intergalactic booty call
the most expensive piece of ass
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Mouthful of Meat
mouth open wide
dick stuffed inside
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Clear History On Exit
so many hours spent surfin' the tubes
with a hand full of tissue and a bottle of lube
spend half of that energy picking up chicks
you'll see less time at home with your hands on your dick
you've wasted a third of your life
watching other people fuck
step away from the screen
and do some fucking of your own
Track Name: Captain Three Leg - Born Too Late (Anti-Nuke)
thrash metal staple
songs of nuclear threat
there was one on every album
there was one on each cassette
born too late
to participate
we wanted to partake
but we barely missed the trend
by the time we learned to play
the Cold War had reached the end
Track Name: Dysmorfic - Hard Cash
Hard cash, what's so hard?
Pay for play then you don't care
D.I.Y. underground, you don't know where we come from
Track Name: Dysmorfic - In My City
In my city there's no room for a fuckface like you are
Track Name: Dysmorfic - Slave
In your songs you fight the system
in your songs you break the chains
In real life you're no different than
the flock you despise
Track Name: Dysmorfic - Spyke 'Lars' Thompson
Spyke Thompson wants to book us
whores and lines but where's our backline?
Spyke Thompson is a choad
we don't need none of his lies
Track Name: Dysmorfic - Acoustic Bass Solo