Comatose way of life
Embracing total bliss
Chili stains on my shirt
And mustard stains on my jeans
Sloppy burritos abound
With some shit to wash it down
Six pack and a pound
Where's a toilet? I'm bathroom bound
Victimized by grease
Perpetuating obesity
I have nothing left
But a bucket of chicken wings
Vengeance reigns with hot sauce
Chilling visions of my mortality
Reality cuts like a knife
Like the knife I use to cut my cake
The cheeseburger reaper descends upon me
Arteries are clogged, my left arm is numb
His greasy fingers clutch my heart
Don't call an ambulance, please call the colonel