All Fours, by Captain Three Leg

All Fours

by Captain Three Leg

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1.	Partly Cloudy 01:13	lyrics
(instrumental)
2.	Fart Brazil 03:06	lyrics
Down on all fours Hand to the back of your head Nose pressed into a dirty place Of a woman who’s been well fed Rump is bearin’ down Gearin’ up for a 69er Balloon knot is loosening A clear view of her vaginer Come visit fart brazil Blow your hair back for a thrill Come Visit fart brazil It’ll put a smell on your face Recoil in shock Air flows down your throat Double-decker flatulence Your nose will never be the same Pushing out the brown eye Tickling your throat Clouds of methane grace your lips Hugging buns in ecstasy Come visit fart brazil Blow your hair back for a thrill Come Visit fart brazil It’ll put a smell on your face
3.	Into The Dutch Oven 03:01	lyrics
Broccoli Cabbage Gravy Tuna Radish Bloated Cramping Sweating Crying Farting Gastro Testinal Swelling Burning Anus Itchy Dirty Smelly Shitty Asshole Grunting Heaving Gasping For air Passing Stinking Rotten Stench of Putrid Methane Pulling the covers over your head Subjecting your nose to an awful ordeal Waves of stench ripple over you Gasping for air, inhaling shit smell Blue in the face from holding your breath
4.	Beef Bone 01:58	lyrics
(instrumental)
5.	High Tail 02:39	lyrics
(instrumental)
6.	Fire Breather 05:21	lyrics
Peddling flesh Spreading her disease Lipstick and chains Stains on the sheets She's a fire breather She's a dirty death dealer Lust is her name Semen is her game A flick of her wrist And out comes the seed Tightly clenched fist A master love maker Crushing my groin She's a heartless ball-breaker She's a fire breather She's a dirty death dealer Guitar! She's a face-sitter Agent 69 Stainin' my face 'til I'm out of my mind She ate my soul She's outta control Fire bleeds from her toothless hole Ooooh, fire breather Face-sitter, yeah! Yeah C'mon Dance Tonight Alright!
7.	Dolphin Funeral 01:13	lyrics
(instrumental)
8.	Dump On The Chump (Helen Keller) 01:34	lyrics
(Helen Keller cover)
9.	Fire Bottom 02:43	lyrics
(instrumental)
10.	Beneath The Wizard's Secret Sleeve 03:34	lyrics
Riding beyond the gates of heaven The wizard draped in his cloak of magic Pointing his shaft at the non-believers He casts his spell of never-ending doom Black clouds approach eclipsing the mid-day’s sun Encroaching upon the villagers livelihood Rivers turn to milk of foul, tainting thine lips with the brew of spoil Yay, they stripped the wizard of his magic cloak Shaming him, rolling his newly fleeced body down to the riverside Thusly surrendering him to the fate of the gods Impending doom awaits his exposed backside And though his body lay broken and brutally ravaged His body remained intact, a reminder of his once powerful sorcery
11.	Light It Up 02:37	lyrics
Race to the floor, flat on your back Bottoms of your feet point to the heavens Dim the lights, lighter in hand The flick of the Bic gives way to the flash Warming up your sack Patting out the flame Rip ass! Anal muscles strained, shedding a tear The flames lick at away your bottom bush Holes in your jeans, above the hole in your crack Fabric is thin and slightly brown black Warming up your sack Patting out the flame Blow one out the hatch Undergarments stained Race to the floor, flat on your back Bottoms of your feet point to the heavens Dim the lights, lighter in hand The flick of the Bic gives way to the flash
12.	Backblast 00:58	lyrics
(instrumental)
13.	Dumping Ground 05:05	lyrics
(instrumental)
14.	Nasal Nightmare 03:40	lyrics
All by myself Alone and afraid The enemy is approaching Armed only with my anus Dropping bombs from below the waist Bending over taking aim Rising up from deep in my guts Reverberation stops you in your tracks The smell wipes your mind clear Sets your nose a flame with pain Crying eyes filled with rage End this nasal nightmare The bombs been dropped Taken it’s toll Enemy destroyed Township is saved Smoke rises from the barrel Blown out by adoring fans Sun sets on the liberated Lone gunman with his cannon Night is filled with celebration Singing songs to his backside Lovingly caressed with care Kneaded, lotioned by young and old Children named after the man Adorned with trinkets, showered with love Riding off into the sunset His story told for generations to come
15.	Space Dock 02:41	lyrics
(instrumental)
16.	Girl 01:45	lyrics
Walkin' through these city streets Lookin' for satisfaction Leather jacket, Levi jeans Uniform for fornication Girl! I've got you in my sights Girl! Can I slip inside your thighs? Girl! I got something I want to show you Girl! I want to carnally know you Take a trip to an alleyway You know I can't wait much longer Lies are told, promises made Wanna get your lips around my donger Speed away when the deed is done Riding off in the night Molly Hatchet plays on the tape In my heavy metal station wagon Girl! Gonna drop you off on the corner Girl! A receptacle for my boner Girl! This beast is on the prowl Girl! Just another face in the crowd
17.	Back To The Shaft 01:27	lyrics
The furry spot between her legs has dried up for you Those precious flower pedals don't open no more It takes a different kind of love to make her feel whole Yeah! She's gone back to the shaft Back to the bone Yeah! Dildos and fingers are a waste of her time She needs the meat tube and the fluid it brings She's lost the taste for your tainted roast beef Yeah! She's gone back to the shaft Back to the bone Yeah!
18.	Desperation 02:31	lyrics
Phone don't ring All alone Ain't no knockin' at my door Stare at the walls every night Never go out Never get tight Left me, baby Not long ago Jeans are torn Shirts have holes Dirty dishes in the sink Trash piles up It really stinks You ran off with a friend Left no note There was no when Took my money Told our friends Blaming me for what you did Don't even know where you live Talk to me Phone don't ring Can't you tell I'm misin' you Can't let go Don't know what to do No other woman just for me Helpless as I can be I'm livin' on insanity I need you Come back to me All I have is an empty bed Dreams of you through my head C'mon baby, come back to me Things will change You will see Ain't no way I'll let you down You stop drinkin', runnin' round I'll stay home on Saturday night Ain't gonna be no more fights
19.	Black Cherry 01:54	lyrics
There's one girl I know And that's Fat Mary Taste that I'm familiar with Is her sweet berries Force-feed my woman Keep her ass at home My Black Cherry Don't mind riding the hump Once her belly swells way up My Fat Mary Accidentally dropped my seed Got in trouble Gotta leave my Fat Mary Ain't worried about her chasin' me down Can't fit through the door That's my Fat Mary A tank of gas and another gash Waits for me in another town "So long, Mary!" She thinks I'm gonna stick around here Get tied down with some dumb kid She got another thing comin' I got new paths to discover Bigger fields to plow I hear she found another clown He gonna tend that whore Dumb bastard Gonna raise her a dummy child Whose skin don't match his daddy's style Half and half
20.	You've Got The Fire 02:06	lyrics
You've got the fire Running through your veins And I've got the power The power of the poop stain I am your nemesis You are a star You went down with conviction And I wrecked your car Can you feel it? Rising up from below When the green fog rolls on in I've got the seed I love your poker face When you ride my steed Can you feel it? Rising up from below Yeah! From the tower of power You will sit and spin Your sister will videotape it And we will all win Through the thick fields It will always rain Never forget the power The power of the poop stain Can you feel it? Rising up from below Yeah!
21.	I Came Here For The Green Sauce 02:43	lyrics
She worked the window at the Taco Johns Her teeth are green, but her legs are long Got got the VD and I got the grass Jump in my Lincoln and give it the gas Yeah! I came here for the green sauce Need something to wipe my seat off There's a chunk in the green sauce Need something to wipe my seed off I dropped it in without a hitch Knocked the bottom out And headed to the ditch Not stickin' around Gotta gather my shit Cuz the fuckin' you give Ain't never worth the fuckin' you get I came here for the green sauce Need something to wipe my seat off There's something gnarly in the green sauce Need something to wipe my seed off She worked the window at the Taco Johns Her teeth are green, but her legs are long It burns when I pee, I'm takin' a hit Cuz the fuckin' you give Ain't never worth the fuckin' you get
22.	Messin' Around 01:27	lyrics
I take you to town What do you do? I show you around What do you do? I spend my money What do you do? Messin' around Messin' around Messin' around You cut off my balls With a boyfriend His car's real cool He's got a huge tool He's great in bed He's so fuckin' cool Messin' around Messin' around Messin' around
23.	Voodoo Child (Hendrix Cover) 04:16
24.	My Dick Knows 02:31	lyrics
Put your face down there Touch me below my underwear Grapple with my hairy banana Speak into my microphone Lets you and me make the beast with two backs Find a clean place on the floor Bumpin' uglies in the dark Charm my snake from its denim cage Drop your slacks past your knees Let your kitten out to breathe Dew forms on your furry rose In and out my pecker goes Yeah! Swollen pipe between your thighs Bringin' tears to your eyes Bending over to touch your toes Familiar scene my dick knows Churning butter from my loins Spraying seed into your mouth Leave you to lay on the wet spot Though you try, you'll never be taut Yeah! Dew forms on your furry rose In and out my pecker goes Yeah!

about

MORT:054

credits

released August 21, 2010

Tracks 1-15 recorded January 13th+14th, 2006 with a Fostex XR-7 Multitracker. Vocals and other overdubs were done a great deal later using Magix Music Maker. Tracks 16-24 were recorded January 29th, 2007 with a Fostex XR-7 Multitracker.

Cover art by Cole Hiatt. Traycard by Hans Johnson.

Andy - Bass, Vocals + Synth
Brian - Drums + Percussion
Matt - Guitar (Tracks 1-15)
Jake - Guitar (Tracks 16-24) + Vocals (Tracks 20, 21 + 23)
Randy - Vocals (Tracks 18+22)